super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
