if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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