Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
