And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
