Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
