His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
