My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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