So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
