Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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