she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Come see our sink grown plant.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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