God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
