Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
