Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize