im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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