normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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