Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
