ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
