Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
