Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
