So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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