so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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