Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
