brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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