just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
