You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
