got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
