went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
