So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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