Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
