and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
