Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I love you. Go after that dick
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
