I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
