Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
