And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
