This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
