he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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