You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
