I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
