Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
