Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
