just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
