I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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