My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
