IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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