just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
