Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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