okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
