i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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