carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
