im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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