Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
