I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
