Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
