Screwed.edu
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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