WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
